Romance Schmomance

   Anybody who knows me will report that my biggest pet peeve is "romance."  I hate romance.  Don't believe it exists.  It's a waste of time.  Romance, as such, is a non-issue (yes, I'll admit that there's all sorts of other love).  People simply misinterpret lust as romantic love.
   Today, I sent in a submission for a "romance" writing contest.  The goal is to submit a 100-word maximum "romance" which relates to the photo below.  Take a gander and let me know what you think!  I love this kind of excercise to sharpen writing skills!  It makes me feel like a college freshman again...about to have my submission read aloud and ripped apart in front of all my peers...

   Despite the recent and scandalous revelation about Barbara’s herpetophilic tendencies (the couples therapist said it was nothing to be alarmed about), Mitch was supportive of her need to change careers mid-life. What he didn’t anticipate was that the fetish would manifest itself so publicly after just two appletinis, innocently imbibed during the “Meet-n-Greet” portion of their first attendance at the North American Paleontological Convention. Lesson learned: if your woman says she loves tight swimming trunks, wear a pair…don’t take her to the Speedo show during Fashion Week. It becomes socially problematic and you end up looking like a cuckold.